I am so amazed that the Lord blesses me with His love and in that divine love so many people are healed by His grace physically, spiritually and emotionally. I can never stop thanking God for His wonderful mercy to and through me a terrible sinner. However, my pride is a wound on my heart when at times I let the thoughts enter my mind that it is I that heals, This causes me such great pain that I would even let these thoughts in for a moment for surely I am nothing and God is everything. The pain of my pride creates an agony on my soul when at times I judge others for I have no right to do so. When I look around the world and see so much evil; murder, abortion, contraception, immorality, drug abuse, crime, war and so much more, it is easy to condemn the sinner. How dare I a sinner do that? Yes I can condemn the sin but never the sinner for they like me are weak humans who need God's love and help in their lives.
What arrogance I have at times when I see those of other belief's killing and oppressing those who love Jesus, My Lord and God, and I look down upon them because of what their faith brings them to do. Surely I should be praying for them to know the full truth of God in the Holy Trinity and working for this to happen. Or when I complain about society and how there are so many rejecting God and living for self and the world. Isn't it my duty to go to them in love and try to bring them to live good and moral lives in the acceptance of Jesus, The Lord, into their lives. Instead of complaining about them and doing nothing to change the situation? Isn't the world the way it is because of me and my weak faith as well as those who have no faith? I am also to blame for the wrongs of the world growing if I do nothing to stop this happening. Oh, what pride I have as I sit back and complain about the way society is forgetting I am part of society.
How blind I am when I think of myself as superior to others and more deserving than others for to God we are all equally deserving, we are all loved the same by Him. Yet, in my self centerderness I deny this truth and in doing so deny God and His holy will. How my pride weighs heavily in my heart, it is a heavy cross which gets heavier when I am filled with thoughts of self-pity. Self-pity which brings me to believe my crosses are heavier than those of others, my pain is greater than others pain, my suffering is undeserved. How easily I forget how the Lord, Jesus, suffered, how heavy was His cross as he carried mankind on His shoulders, how great was His pain as He carried my pain and the pain of all people to the cross. I, a terrible sinner because of my sins, surely deserve any suffering, any cross and the pain that comes with them. I deserve nothing more and yet the wonderful Lord, Jesus, says I deserve His love. Incredible!
I pray and ask all of you, if you have a moment, to pray for me to overcome my pride by the grace of God. I pray this heart of mine will be healed of this self inflicted wound. I implore the Lord, to forgive me for being such a weak pride-filled person who so often thinks of self before God.
May God bless you all abundantly,