The following is an except from Experiencing God
In my life before I knew God I was walking blindly through a desert. This desert was one I created in my denial of God. I was alone in my selfishness and sinfulness as I distanced myself from God by thinking only of self and distanced myself from others by not caring about them. Every step I took in this desert was a step further away from the reality of God and deeper into the illusion of self. The sand I walked upon was the people I walked over in life as I used and abused them. The ever-hotter sun was the inferno of hell reaching in through my sins to burn my soul. The increasing thirst was the addictions I had drawing my life from me. Yet, in my blindness of pride I was unaware of the barren world I had created and lived in.
It was only when an oasis of love appeared before me, beckoning me to it, that I started to see the truth. As I changed direction and headed toward the oasis it became clearer and clearer what a world I had created for myself in sin. Then on that glorious day when I reached the oasis of love I was at first hesitant, unsure whether to enter its waters or not. Unsure if the oasis would welcome me or reject me. Tentatively I put my foot into the water not knowing what to expect. As the water touched my skin its coolness comforted my flesh, its gentle touch invited me to enter completely in the waters of love. With great anticipation and excitement I entered up to my waist and as the water engulfed me I felt a love I had never known before. I knew the water loved me. I knew the water wanted to cleanse me and I knew the water would truly wash away the thirst for sin I had.
As the water gently caressed me I turned to look back at the desert I had left behind and sadness came upon me as I saw how foolish I had been. Now I knew the oasis of love had always been there for me, as it is for all people, and that there had been no need for me to be alone thirsting in the desert.
As the water refreshed my being within it I could feel and hear the words
Stay with Me forever.
My heart beat with excitement at the thought of never leaving the water of love that was surrounding and comforting me. Deep in my soul the words exploded forth, Yes, I want to stay with You forever.
As the words left my mouth I felt for the first time true peace knowing this is where I am meant to be. Then in that realization I also understood that it was only myself that had kept me from my true destiny. Once more then the great pride I have reared its ugly head as it allowed evil to call me back to the desert offering all the delights the world can give. However, now I saw these delights would not and could not last and that in the end the desert awaited. Now these delights held nothing for me as they had become valueless. Now I cried in sorrow at how I had been so easily seduced by them before. Now tears of sorrow ran down my face and dripped into the water. My sadness increased as I thought my tears would pollute the water with the stain of my sins.
Yet, the water cried out, Your sins can be washed away in Me if only you ask. Then the hand of despair came upon me as I thought of how unworthy I was and thought, surely my sin is so great I do not deserve to be washed clean.
Yet, the water called me into it, it called me to come deeper and deeper.
My mind was still lost in thoughts of despair and self-pity but my soul drove me on. Then I was submerged in the water of love and my whole being felt refreshed, renewed, cleansed and pure. As I looked up through the water I could see a fountain flowing into the oasis and filling it. I followed the fountain with my gaze to its source and there was the One who loves me, high upon a cross with His arms open wide. Flowing from His side from His open heart was the source of the water. Forgive me, Lord, I cried as I knew His love and knew He cared for me. The One who loves me raised His head and smiled at me as He said, Of course, My friend, of course. Then I saw there was another fountain flowing from His side, a fountain of blood. Come to Me, the One who loves me called. With uncertainty in myself but not in Him I stepped forth to stand under the fountain of blood.
As the blood washed over me I knew then I loved Him. I knew then this is what I was created to do. I knew then that never again would I stop loving Him and I knew I just wanted to be His. As I looked at the blood washing over me I saw another within it, (a man dressed in black wearing a white collar). He invited me towards him as the One who loves me and the one I love gently encouraged me saying, Go. As I went to the man and fell to my knees all of my wrongs came from my heart and soul and I called from the depth of my being, Forgive me. With a comforting tone the man replied, By the grace of the One who loves you, you are forgiven. As he said these words and raised his hand to make the sign of love I fell backwards into the water. Deeper and deeper I fell but I had no fear for all around me I could feel tenderness, mercy, compassion and love. The deeper I fell the brighter the water became and the stronger the feeling of love grew.
The words, Into the depths of My love, came from the One who loves me.
Now I just wanted to remain there forever, sinking ever deep into the eternal oasis of love. Now my entire being, mind, body, soul and humanity resounded with love. Now no longer did I desire anything except the water of love. Then the One who loves me spoke, saying, Many do not drink of this water and do not know of this water. Go tell them. Inside me a desire began to grow, a desire that all should come and bathe in the oasis of love so that they could also find the love, the peace, the joy and the security that I have found. The deeper into the water I went the stronger this desire became because the more you are immersed in the water of love and of life the more you desire to share it.
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